Monday, 28 June 2010

Narrative by Edwina

Once upon a time there lived a boy called Tamati and a dog called Sam.

One night Dad said to Tamati: “It’s late and it’s not time to read.” When Tamati and Sam were sleeping they heard a sound and that went: “Beep, beep, beep.” So they jumped out of the bed and ran out. Tamati said: “We got to get out of here.” So they were ran and they called out: “Fire, fire, fire.”

After that they got outside and they saw their Dad at the safe meeting place.Dad rang 111 on his mobile and he said: “Please can we have a fire-fighter?” In a few minutes the fire fighter came and got the hose out and went inside to see if anyone was there.

They were safe and they lived happily ever after.


Anonymous said...

Hello Edwina.I really enjoyed your writing,your words formed a picture in my mind.Your use of direct speech added interest.Keep up the great work.
Mrs Pole

june said...

hi edwina i like your story about fire. and you even showed how the person got out of the building

joan said...

hi Edwina

what a great story about tamati and sam.

Isleworth Students said...

I think the story was great. I think the boy was sensible to get to the meeting place.

You have written a great story.


Hannah said...

Hi Edwina I really like your story about fire in the house that was amazing and I like how you speak clearly you had a nice voise that was great.

Kate said...

Dear Edwina,
What a great narrative. I liked how your story had a message for us about what we should do when there's a fire.
From Kate.

Radha Moopanar said...

Hi Edwina

I liked yout story because it had a good structure.

Plessius Family said...

Hi Edwina,
I liked the way you set the scene and setting in your story. Well done, Karl's mum

Eseki Tanaki said...

I like your story it was very interesting and I like your picture you chose.