Once upon a time there lived a boy called Tamati and a dog called Sam.
One night Dad said to Tamati: “It’s late and it’s not time to read.” When Tamati and Sam were sleeping they heard a sound and that went: “Beep, beep, beep.” So they jumped out of the bed and ran out. Tamati said: “We got to get out of here.” So they were ran and they called out: “Fire, fire, fire.”
After that they got outside and they saw their Dad at the safe meeting place.Dad rang 111 on his mobile and he said: “Please can we have a fire-fighter?” In a few minutes the fire fighter came and got the hose out and went inside to see if anyone was there.
They were safe and they lived happily ever after.
9 comments:
Hello Edwina.I really enjoyed your writing,your words formed a picture in my mind.Your use of direct speech added interest.Keep up the great work.
Mrs Pole
hi edwina i like your story about fire. and you even showed how the person got out of the building
hi Edwina
what a great story about tamati and sam.
I think the story was great. I think the boy was sensible to get to the meeting place.
You have written a great story.
Joshua
http://isleworthschoolnews.blogspot.com/
Hi Edwina I really like your story about fire in the house that was amazing and I like how you speak clearly you had a nice voise that was great.
Dear Edwina,
What a great narrative. I liked how your story had a message for us about what we should do when there's a fire.
From Kate.
Hi Edwina
I liked yout story because it had a good structure.
Hi Edwina,
I liked the way you set the scene and setting in your story. Well done, Karl's mum
HI EDWINA
I like your story it was very interesting and I like your picture you chose.
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